Are you feeling lost or stuck in your life? Are you struggling with self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy? Do you want to break free from the expectations of others and embrace your true self?
If so, listen to this episode where Judy shares her personal journey of battling depression and how she uses mindfulness practices to acknowledge her hard work and deservingness.
So, take a deep breath and join Judy on this journey to mindfulness and self-acceptance. Let go of any stories or identities that are holding you back, and embrace your true self.
You are strong and capable of making choices in your life. You deserve to be happy and fulfilled. Remember, in this moment, you are safe and confident.
Get a sample chapter of my book: "How to Disappoint Your Parents in 10 Shameless Steps: A Modern Asian American Guide."
LIKE WHAT YOU HEARD?
Please leave a review on Apple Podcasts! It helps our message get in front of more people. Here's how:
Step 1: Go to https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1554330617
Step 2: Click “View on Apple Podcasts”
Step 3: Click “Ratings and Reviews”
Step 4: Click to rate and leave a short review!
Are you feeling lost or stuck in your life? Are you struggling with self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy? Do you want to break free from the expectations of others and embrace your true self?
If so, listen to this episode where Judy shares her personal journey of battling depression and how she uses mindfulness practices to acknowledge her hard work and deservingness.
So, take a deep breath and join Judy on this journey to mindfulness and self-acceptance. Let go of any stories or identities that are holding you back, and embrace your true self.
You are strong and capable of making choices in your life. You deserve to be happy and fulfilled. Remember, in this moment, you are safe and confident.
Get a sample chapter of my book: "How to Disappoint Your Parents in 10 Shameless Steps: A Modern Asian American Guide."
LIKE WHAT YOU HEARD?
Please leave a review on Apple Podcasts! It helps our message get in front of more people. Here's how:
Step 1: Go to https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1554330617
Step 2: Click “View on Apple Podcasts”
Step 3: Click “Ratings and Reviews”
Step 4: Click to rate and leave a short review!
Judy Tsuei (00:00:02) - Welcome to the Fuck Saving Face podcast, where we're empowering mental and emotional health for Asian Americans and voices of color by breaking through taboo topics. Life may not always be pretty, but it is indeed beautiful. Make your story beautiful today in case you're new to this show. My name is Judy Sway and I'm the founder of Wild Hearted Words. We are a strategic branding and content marketing agency, and we focus on working with female entrepreneurs of color to create sustainable six figure success. If you'd like to experience what it's like to work with me, you can sign up for my latest masterclass that's available on my website@wildheartedwords.com slash shop. It's called Overcoming Challenges and Traumas through Mindset, shifts and Manifestation. And when you sign up for the audio course that's about an hour, you'll also get a bonus PDF filled with incredible affirmations that you can practice every day to welcome in the life you'd like to have for a limited time.
Judy Tsuei (00:01:02) - The course is now only $19. Again, go to wild hearted words.com/shop. Now onto the episode. When I first started teaching yoga, I thought that my favorite classes to teach would be the power classes because those were the classes I loved attending. When I was living in Santa Monica, I would go to Brian Cast's power yoga studio, and I have never sweat so much in my life, a lot of it through just the breath work alone and the constant motion, it's a running joke now between my partner and myself that even if we work side by side and we're doing the same amount of effort that I might have like a bead of sweat on my nose and he's like dripping in sweat. So what was surprising to me is that as I continued to teach, my favorite classes were actually the slow ones, the restorative classes, the ones where I had an opportunity as a reiki master to come offer energy, gentle touch, just attention and presence for my students, and to watch them completely transform over the course of the class.
Judy Tsuei (00:02:09) - So whether it was a 45 minute class, a 60 minute class, a 75 or a 90 minute class, the transformation was so apparent from the beginning of class to the end of class. And so these mindfulness practices that I offer here on this podcast are an opportunity for me to share what I love and for you to hopefully have a moment in your day to just be with yourself, to acknowledge how hard you work each and every day just to show up. And as someone who's battled different bouts of depression when I was in my teens than in my twenties, severe postpartum depression after I had my daughter. And you know, just as the collective experience through the pandemic, I think it's so important to acknowledge that we are doing the best that we can. And if you were raised with authoritarian tiger parents who really focused on performance and outcome, it can be difficult to feel like the target's always moving.
Judy Tsuei (00:03:14) - And are you good enough? Have you done enough? Is this enough? Am I enough? So one of the things that I started to do as well is in the morning and in the evening, I read a series of manifestations and affirmations. And I let this be a living document that as I continue to read, I check in with myself if this is still an aligned goal that I want to achieve. And over the past few years, I would say that I've shifted from manifesting a thing, a milestone, an outcome, to really understanding more of the core feeling that's underneath it. For me, it's a sense of deserving. And what I've been working with my therapist on is the more that I grieve the life that I wish that I had, the more that I grieve the heartbreak and the heartache of things not turning out the way that I thought that they would, people not showing up the way that I thought that they would, very core pivotal people in my life, then the more that I allow the opportunity to understand that I am indeed deserving, and that the good things that are happening to me now are real, and that I can trust them, that I do not have to continually wait for the other shoe to drop, because that's the way that my brain was programmed when I was growing up in this environment of chaos.
Judy Tsuei (00:04:39) - And you know, not being able to know if I was safe or feeling unprotected from the people who should have been my caretakers and my protectors, and you know, the adults in my life. So I've observed that the more that I do the grief work, the more that I'm calmer in my every day, and the more that I really revel and relish in the goodness that's unfolding. So just yesterday I had a conversation with my partner where I really acknowledged how grateful and lucky I am that he loves me the way that he does. And I can appreciate it because I went through a divorce, I went through a very unhealthy marriage, and feeling so alone during that time that this person does not gimme any reason to question that he loves me. And I have full confidence in knowing that he respects me. He honors my opinion that when I walk into the room, I am the person who he wants to be around the most, that he often tells me that I'm his favorite.
Judy Tsuei (00:05:44) - And we've been together for almost three years. And it has taken me that amount of time to really trust in this dynamic and this interpersonal relationship. And he's been very, very patient with me as I've been triggered in different moments of allowing myself to feel close, to believe, and depend upon someone to ask for help. And it's also his attraction to me that allows me to feel so confident and filled with this sense of pleasure and joy. And it is coming from myself and the hard work that I've done in my personal growth. But it also is through our interpersonal connection that I've been afforded these opportunities to look at myself, to look at what it is that I want in a relationship, communication, respect, you know, fun, intimacy, all of these things. And so the practice today is encouraging you to be that wild woman.
Judy Tsuei (00:06:53) - The archetype that I talked about in episode 90, that kicked off our entire season. And I think that within each of us, there is a different definition of what this is. I know for me in my desire to be a good Chinese girl, quote unquote, that there were things that I wouldn't allow myself to want or to yearn for, or to feel satiated with because it wasn't the core values, it wasn't part of that system that I grew up with. You know, the core values that I grew up with was, you better work really, really hard. You better try to make the most money that you can. You better achieve some sort of status so that you can have that outward demonstrated respect. And you know, there wasn't anything about philanthropy necessarily, or there wasn't anything about feeling sexy in your own skin and feeling great.
Judy Tsuei (00:07:45) - I mean, I struggled with an eating disorder for over 15 years and body dysmorphia. So I didn't even know, you know what felt good. It felt guilty to feel good in my body. And so I'm still on this journey, but more and more as I allow myself to grieve the past and to give myself permission to be who I am and who I want to become more and more, I feel this sense of calmness all the time. There's so much less striving, so much less trying to do more, to be more to be accepted, and instead getting back to that core understanding that I am enough, that I am deserving, that I don't have to struggle and hustle, that I am enough just as I am right here, right now. So with all of that said, I invite you to approach this practice today with a sense of openness and curiosity.
Judy Tsuei (00:08:50) - We will be focusing on breath. One of my favorite apps that I've discovered recently is other ship. If you haven't done breath work before, there's a whole array of exercises and a range of time that you would spend, and I highly encourage you to check it out, to start using breath work as a means to be more present. Sometimes I think mindfulness practices can be difficult because we want to do something and that our minds, instead of being quiet or calm, it feels more comfortable in the worrying because it feels like we're doing something. So the breath work helps us to kind of free ourselves from that dynamic. It gives us something to do, which actually changes our internal state, our physical self, our being. There are things like alkalinizing breath, there are breath holds. There are ways to ignite more energy and ways to increase more calm and engage your parasympathetic nervous systems.
Judy Tsuei (00:09:49) - So whatever it is that you need, breath work is a really great vehicle to help you open up that doorway and that portal to that. From the breath work, there's going to be moments of quiet and mindfulness. And I will also be here to share with you affirmations. If you have not been reminded lately, including from yourself, that you are doing enough, that you are remarkable in who you are, that you are uniquely made, and there's nothing wrong with you. You may have made mistakes, there may have been feelings of shame or guilt. I know I went through that recently. It doesn't mean that you are unworthy or that you are unworthy of love. And so I encourage you to step into that wild nature that exists within you, that intuitive innate sense of femininity or divine nature, as well as understanding that you have a masculine side.
Judy Tsuei (00:10:50) - And this is for anyone, whether you identify as a woman or identify as a man inwardly, we have that balance of both masculine, action oriented energy and feminine, receptive, intuitive, more reflective energy. So let's get into our practice for today. Wherever you are, see if you can find a space where you can just be with yourself for the next several minutes. Is there a place where you can either sit down, feel different points of your body making contact with the earth, where you can lie down, where if you are moving through the world, that you can begin to tune out the external sensory perception and move your awareness more inward? Start to become aware of your breath. Notice where your breath is in your body. And notice if you can begin to deepen your breath. So can you lengthen the inhalations and the exhalations? Can you let it be as strong at the finish as it is at the start? So if you imagine that you were working on a loom, or you were threading string through fabric, just the continual repetitive motion, in and out, in and out. So on your next exhale, let everything go
Judy Tsuei (00:12:27) - And hold at the bottom of your exhale. We're gonna hold for 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Breathing in, relaxing your belly, letting yourself feel filled up. And you're gonna hold it at the top for 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Exhale, let it all go. Inhale, bring in new life, new energy. And this time, when you exhale, let it move through your lips in a bit of a hum, hmm. Feel yourself waking up your throat, waking up the vibrations in your body, holding at the bottom of the breath for 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Breathing through your nose, filling yourself up from your head to your toes, holding at the top, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Exhale, let everything go. You can sigh it out.
Judy Tsuei (00:13:45) - Hold it at the bottom for the last count of 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Breathing in and just noticing, observing, sensing, seeing if anything has shifted in that brief and vital breath. Work, practice dropping in more into this moment, more into your life as you are right here, right now. So as you continue to follow your own thread of breath, your own cycle of breathing, one of my favorite things is to hold my breath at both the top where I'm filled up and my bottom where I'm empty. That allows me to find that sense of stillness in our busy day-to-day lives. So I encourage you to just play around, be inquisitive, be curious what works for you right here, right now. And as you continue to move through your breath, I will repeat several affirmations and allow yourself to take them in if they fit. If they don't fit, just let it flow on by. You can just let it let go. This is your life. You get to decide. You have full permission to play, to set boundaries, to welcome in, to keep out. So today I choose greatness. Today I choose peace. Today I choose thriving. Today I choose to feel fully confident in every aspect of my being.
Judy Tsuei (00:15:51) - Today I choose to release and surrender any story that's holding me back. Today I choose to allow myself to feel the feelings whether they make sense to me or not. Today I choose to allow myself to let things be easy. Today I choose to revel in the simple moments. Today I choose to lean into connection. To today I choose to trust myself, my inner knowing, and my truth. Today I choose to allow myself to feel free. Today I allow myself to connect with my wild woman nature. Today I let go of any identity that I've adopted and taken on that is not mine, that was based on performance or someone else's idea of success and value. Today, I value myself completely. Today I know I make meaningful contributions just by being me in the energy that I present and that I hold within myself. Today I choose connection. Today I choose to surrender fear, knowing that fear is a false expectation appearing real.
Judy Tsuei (00:17:49) - Today I choose to love myself and I can start small or I can go big, but I choose to love myself. In this moment today, I approach myself with kindness. Today, I know that I am enough, taking another few cycles of breath and slowly, slowly coming back into this moment, back into your body, back into your life, . So the beautiful thing about your breath is that the more that you focus on your breath, the more that you drop into the present moment. And in this moment right here, right now, as you're listening to this, you are safe. There may be many stressors, there may be many things that are on your mind, but in this moment, you're creating a sense of spaciousness. To know that you have the confidence, you have the ability to move through your life and to have choices each and every step along the way.
Judy Tsuei (00:19:15) - Sometimes those choices will be hard, and sometimes they will be seamless and easy and filled with serendipity and synchronicity and flow. I highly encourage you to just take a moment today to relish, to savor, and to acknowledge that you have shown up for every single one of the hardest moments of your life. We are here for this season filled with more personal stories, more personal essays, more interviews with experts and inspiring individuals who are living by their truths and their principles and being of service and more moments to breathe and to be, and to acknowledge that the milestones that we are achieving can be this upward spiral of wisdom and growth. And the more that we do that, the more we contribute to the collective consciousness. And it's an opportunity and ways for the universe, for source to continue to learn and expand upon itself. So I wish you the very best rest of your day. If you haven't yet left a review and you would like to share this with someone in your life, or you want to share some words so that others can also find this way to basically defang the tiger and find a new sense of ferocity within themselves, then I'd be honored if you would pass this along. Have a wonderful day, and I will talk to you soon.
Judy Tsuei (00:20:53) - Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. If you'd like to support me and this show, please go to iTunes and leave your review. It means so much to me and it'll help others find this podcast. I'll catch you in the next episode. And if you'd like to stay in touch between now and then, please visit wild hearted words.com and sign up for my weekly newsletter. I've had people share with me that it's the best thing to arrive in their inbox all week. Aloha.