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F*ck Saving Face
If you’re an Asian-American who grew up learning that you had to “save face” and be a “good girl,” let’s remove all the guilt, shame, and taboos to talk about the things we weren’t given permission to explore. Rather than upholding the “model minority” standard, let’s redefine what it means to be strong, courageous, and bold in a brave new world. Let’s finally have a voice after being the silent generation for too long. Join me, your host, Judy Tsuei, every week as I explore mental, emotional and physical health like never before, telling it like it is. We might shock the generation before us, but hopefully, you and I will create a more conscious way of being for the generation after us. Wherever you are in celebrating your Asian-ness, I got you. Let’s roar together. More at www.wildheartedwords.com/podcast.
F*ck Saving Face
Episode 108: My Life Began in the Darkness of an Incubator [Memoir Excerpts]
In the latest episode, I open the pages of my life to you, sharing the raw and real experiences that have shaped me.
I read a chapter of my upcoming memoir tentatively titled, "It Began in the Darkness" when I was left in an incubator by my parents because I was born a month premature.
Here's a sampling:
"Born one month early, trained to live without touch, in the incubator starting at 6:15 a.m. on July 16 on Sunset Boulevard. I'm much older than my siblings, so I remember when they were born. I remember their grey eyes and how my grandmother, my mother, said they could not yet see clearly. They only knew shapes. Smell, touch.
I watched as my youngest brother's eyes became solid, began to see the environment he was born into. The screaming so loudly that it was as though we all went deaf. The tyrannical nature of my father beating into us when his rage went beyond what his yelling could accomplish. The hysterical nature of my mother when she went into her bipolar fits and spurts of completely unsanctioned and unacceptable behavior, to demanding that we love her, that we pay her respect, that we don't talk back. But what was there really to say anyway?
My youngest brother's eyes speak more than his words will ever reveal. In the old house on Toland Way, in the ghetto of Eagle Rock, before it became hipster, I remember the way the sun would shine through the sliding glass door that separated the room where my sister and I slept on our bunk bed from the same room where my mother and father shared their bed."
Heart-to-heart interactions can be transformative. The past doesn't determine the future. Because I also reveal the first time my Chinese father said, "I love you" to me in college after my boyfriend's father unexpectedly dies of a heart attack, and it turns out to be a wake-up call in so many ways.
I'd be honored if you like this episode, if you would share, rate, and review this podcast so more people can feel less alone in the world.
Order an early copy of "How to Disappoint Your Parents in 10 Shameless Steps: A Modern Asian American Guide" via Kickstarter: bit.ly/shamelessbook.
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